arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's like God shit irony all over that family
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
