I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
