I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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