Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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