I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
