i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
