You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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