...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My dick has a subreddit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
