508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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