Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
