im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
