His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
