WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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