I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This baby is an asshole
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
