Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize