you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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