How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
