What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
