What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
