that's an acceptable place to lick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
