i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
