But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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