we have officially lost it.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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