How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
