Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
