There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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