I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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