there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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