don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
