barbara walters just said penis...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize