Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
