Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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