Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
