Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
