I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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