Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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