Banned from zoo.
Again?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
