I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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