omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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