oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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