Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
