I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
