I seem to have left my pride at pride
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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