This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
