Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
