I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
