i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
