i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
