Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
