Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize