One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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