I got chris browned last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
