Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
