I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize