Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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