I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The struggles of a small town man whore
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
