The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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