im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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